Virginia Divorce & Custody Law

‘Tis the Season – Fighting Over the Holidays

For separated and divorced couples with children, the holiday season can be painful instead of joyous. Celebrating the holidays without your children is difficult enough without fighting with your ex-spouse over who gets the holiday or what time the exchange is to occur. Calling the police and filing Emergency Motions is often the norm, as parents scramble to make sure they do not miss out on precious holiday time with their children. Such actions create hostile situations that can ruin the children’s holidays. Almost universally, the problem is poorly drafted custody/visitation agreements.

The secret to reducing holiday tug-of-wars over the children is having a crystal clear, well-drafted agreement. It is essential to sit down with a calendar and plot out the holidays over at least the next few years. Most often, parents alternate the “major” holidays/school breaks of Christmas, Thanksgiving, Spring Break, and the various religious holidays peculiar to specific faiths. The devil is in the details; for example, if you have a child who is 2 years old, should your agreement define how the school holiday periods will be divided once the child starts school? Do you want to alternate just Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, or the entire break from school? Do you want Spring Break in even-numbered years or odd-numbered years? Do you plan to travel over the holidays, such that you would rather alternate the entire Christmas break from school every other year, as opposed to dividing the break in half each year?

In short, it is crucial to clearly define: (a) the holiday period, including the exact beginning and ending times; (b) which parent has which holidays in even and odd years; (c) who is doing the driving for the visitation exchanges, and the location of the exchanges; and (d) making sure the agreement clearly states that the holiday visitation supersedes the regular visitation schedule. An agreement without grey areas will help you buy presents for your children instead of paying legal fees.

Happy holidays to you and yours.

What to Bring to Your First Meeting with Your Attorney

The first hour with your attorney is often the most valuable time your Family Law attorney will spend with you. Your attorney will gather the facts of your case, identify the issues that need to be addressed immediately and those that are not as urgent but still need attention. If you provide enough documents and information about the facts in your case, your attorney should be able to give you a fair assessment of your marital estate, the approximate level of support if the facts warrant it and tell you an approximate mid point for settling or splitting the marital estate.